Standard Campaign Rules:

Main Character Creation Rules: 

• Must be a non-unique infantry model.
• Starting upgrade allowance: 20 points
• Only 1 HQ may be a Main Character.
• You don't have to field your Main Character, however you must have one in the Campaign Roster.  
• The main Character may choose one Warlord Trait from any available Warlord tables. He may also then roll for two more in the standard way, with one re-roll allowed. These are then the Main Character's permanent Warlord Traits. i.e. a Chaos Lord may choose to take Black Crusader, then roll for the Strategic Warlord traits, then Personal Warlord Traits, and if he doesn't like either of the results, he may reroll one of them. 

Table of Infinite Mortality:

whenever a character is brought down to zero wounds remaining, at the end of the game, roll on the Table of Infinite Mortality.

1-2: Choir of Obese Females: The Character is either killed, or maimed to the point of uselessness, and may not return for the duration of the campaign. 

3-4: Just a Flesh Wound: The Character is horribly injured, but stable. Should the player wish to field the character in the next battle he will enter the board with only one wound remaining. However, he will also gain the Stubborn universal special rule, for the remainder of the Campaign. 

5-6: BRB: the chosen model must take a toughness test. If passed they may return to the battle field the very next game with full wounds. If failed, treat this as a Just a Flesh Wound result. 

Characters with Eternal Warrior add +1 to the result on the Table of Infinite Mortality.

Instant Death: should the model suffer an Instant Death result, roll a d6. If it's a 6, then the character treats this as a BRB result, and gains the Eternal Warrior Special Rule for the remainder of the Campaign. Otherwise treat the death as a Choir of Obese Females result. 

Death of a Main Character:

Unfortunately for every bold hero that climbs the mountain, there are a dozen corpses along its jagged slopes. Should a Main Character fall in battle he must be replaced immediately as fate pulls forth another soul for glory or doom.This new Main Character follows all of the rules for creating a Main Character, and your army must go back to 20 point limit as must your new Main Character. This new Character does not have to have been on the Campaign Roster.

 

Army Rules:

• Units are only allowed as many points to spend as the Main Character (20 to start with) 
• Each Force Organization Slot must be unlocked. To begin with you may only take Troops. Each game you may unlock one more Force Org Slot. Allies and Fortifications must also be unlocked in this manner, as well as separate detachments. Unlocked Allies only have access to the same slots you've already unlocked. 
• No unique models may be fielded. If you wish to do so, you may field one unique character instead of unlocking another Force Organisation Slot, this may only be done after every Force Org Slot for your primary detachment is unlocked. 

Campaign Roster:

• You must list 5 + the number of games played, units from your chosen codex, and allied codex. One of these must be your Main Character, and at least two must be troops. 
• Your opponent has unlimited access to your roster. 
• You may only field units included in this Roster. 

Badass Points:

Main Characters are capable of great deeds, and it is on their backs that this campaign must be won. Each Badass point unlocks 10 more points for your Main Characters allowance. and for every 3 badass points you may gain one reroll of any dice pertaining directly to the actions of that character. For example, you may use it on to hit rolls, to wound rolls, saves, even on the table of infinite mortality. Absolutely any roll that directly affects the Main Character. 

Badass Actions:

• Cool Guys Don't Look at Explosions: whenever a vehicle suffers an explosion result within 12 inches, or an ordnance weapon is fired and the template lands within 12 inches, as long as the Main Character cannot draw line of sight to it from it's "eyes" he gains a Badass Point. 
• Challenge Accepted: accepting or issuing a challenge is worth 1 Badass Point.
• A New Challenger Aproaches: Accepting or issuing a challenge to another Main Character is worth 2 Badass Points. 
• Victory: regardless of whether or not the Main Character was fielded, a victory is worth one Badass Point
• Insane Bravado: Whenever a leadership test is passed on double ones, that is worth 3 Badass Points.
• Any roll on the Table of Infinite Mortality is worth 1 Badass Point... if they survive. 

Colossus Siege Mortar

Str 6 AP 3 large blast... and ignores cover. SPACE MARINE KILLER :D
So my iron warriors, an army I've collected recently, specialize in being awesome. and they take two colossus siege mortars. That means double force org, and double allies, but its so worth it it's ridiculous. When you combine the durability of space marines, albeit chaos ones, but still. Then you slap in the aegis defense line, and these colossi, and we're lookin at quite the formidable little force here. This means it's gotta be a 2000 point list, but that's totally fine with me, thats standard these days, at least for me and my friends. So why the colossus? in short, it takes the most popular army in the game, and brings it to its knees. Also, I have access to guardsmen, which means plasma spam. Not to mention the list has a vindicator, so when you add those and my plasmacannon toting Helbrute, you get the answer to enemy terminators, and my obliterators make short work of landraiders, so I'm not worried about those either, so I don't need any other type of artillery. And lets face it, bigger is better, and the colossus is the biggest there is when it comes to cannons :D its something my opponent would be foolish not to deal with, regardless of the army they wield. AP 3 strength 6 deals with any standard troop in the game with ease. And since they're sitting so snuggly behind my aegis defense line, well, as the youth are so fond of saying: COME AT ME BRO! 

DAKKA WAGON!

Alright so lets face it, 6th edition, all about dat shootin' and orks, well, traditionally, ain't about dat shootin'. so. What do we do? Well as a lot of ork players are learning, ork shooting is actually not only feasible, but pretty damn good. From deffkoptas, to lootas, everyone finds some unit to make their ork army shooty. Personally, to make the transition, more shoota boyz, some grot big gunz, looted wagons and tankbustas have all served me well, however, following my latest addition to my orks, which is close combat oriented, I feel its time to give the loota some room to fly. And if you're gunna be a bear... be a grizzly. 

So what's the plan? well as the title certainly gives away, I'm wrapping my lootas in a battlewagon. And not just any ol' battle wagon either. Nope. A battlewagon the internet would suggest is terrible. No deffrolla? that's awful. A KILLKANNON?! are you retarded? well hopefully he'll stop there, I mean, too many points on a vehicle like this, especially one this fragile, he's never gonna get far with that... oh damn, he added more... a lobba... what the fuck is the point of a lobba... and rokkits? just 2? why not 0 or 4? 

Ok so if you couldn't tell from the above gibberish, its a battlewagon with a killkannon, a lobba, 2 rokkits, and a lack of deffrolla syndrome. So why these decisions? well the whole point of this battlewagon is to tote around my lootas. They're too many points to just leave lyin' around somewhere, and to be completely honest, I really just like the idea of a battlewagon bristling with guns and unleashing a hale of bullets that would make a land raider crusader wind up feeling emasculated. So yeah, the battlewagon needed a few things, first off, to be shooty, obviously, second it needed to compliment what the lootas may wind up shooting at. The lobba may seem the strangest choice of all. Well, its accurate, by ork standards, phenomenal even. Second, if the lootas are in range, so is the lobba. Thirdly, if the target is infantry, than the lobba helps out a ton, and it doesn't matter if my horde of orks is in the way, it shoots over em. So yeah, I like the lobba. get off my nuts! ... >.> moving along. So next up, the killkannon. first off, it almost halves the transport capacity, and costs 60 points... gross. despite this, its only range 24, what the fuck? and str 7, not even strong enough to glance a landraider, and its ap 3 which is solid, but considering the rest, why take it? at the end of the day, its still a pretty good space marine killer, and 24 inches is enough, anything outside that isn't their problem anyway, we're in a battlewagon dammit! Ok then, rokkits, whats up with those? you're never gunna hit anything with em, and you're payin' a ton of points for 2 of these fuckers, whats up with that shit man? ...more.... dakka... nuff said. ok so then last question, why no deffrolla? I mean, its str 10, that makes it decent against landraiders, isn't that the biggest problem the entire ork codex has? I wanted my battlewagon to be pretty backfield. Its important that this monstrosity stay alive, after all, its expensive. I think that one thing the battlewagon suffers from is only being armor 14 in the front, and well, if its headed towards the enemy, its gunna be its really long sides that take the beating, not its relatively small front. But if it stays in the back, and I stay conscious of its facing, I can make that armor 14 last a helluva lot longer, not to mention those lootas will have a mek companion among them, and he'll help out with keeping that wagon movin'. So thats why no deffrolla, I don't want the temptation to give into orky nature and just charge headlong into the fray, no sir, just sit back, smokin' big fat orky cigars, and enjoy the sound of dakka. 

So any closing comments? well whether it moves 6 inches, or 12, the lootas only get to fire snapshots, so I won't hesitate to move 12 when I'm far away, because it makes no difference, however if I get the choice upclose then I have a decision to make, and like I said, the battlewagon's main concern is survival, its the lootas inside they're the ones who have the deathdealing to do. 

Howls on the Wind

So fellas, guess who is now the proud owner of a third army? well, if it wasn't me, this article would be a lot less interesting, so luckily, it is me. I now own imperial guard, orks, and most recently, Space Wolves! So how do I take the fabled sons of russ on the table? Well, I don't want to write a huge article, so I'll delve into the HQ section for now.

The biggest trick to running wolves is gettin your HQ selections right. See you can take a really cheap rune priest, or wolf guard battle leader, and be done with it, OR you could go the complete opposite end of the spectrum with the mighty Bjorn The Fellhanded. Which is better? lets just say a rune priest could kill Bjorn the Fellhanded quite easily, and for one third the point cost. But the point is, what should you do?

Let me start off by saying, you can do anything you want with your wolves, but I personally go for priests and Grimnar. The wolf lord is an alright option, but at the end of the day what wolf lord is better than Grimnar? and for around the same points. Bjorn is often scoffed at, and I agree, he's clearly a bad option, so do I take him? yes. WHAT D: yeah I said it. I, Wake325th, TAKE BJORN THE FELLHANDED. On occasion.

ok ok. So yeah, he is that bad. For 290 points you get a bs 6 front armor 13 dreadnaught with 4 attacks. Good, but not 290 points good, arguably not even 200 points good. But still, I do it. Why? well because I love Bjorn, I really really do. The story, the idea, and the feeling like I am the reason this model exists, for players like me who don't really give a damn. Should you? no. If you do, what should you do? sit him in the back with some long fangs or something, and then use him to cover them or join in on the assault, hes a beast in close combat against any and all enemy infantry, so long as you keep him in cover or away from monstrous creatures and sich, he'll be fine.

So which seat should I take? considering it is actually almost friday, I will ignore my own remark, and say go all out, or go all in. DO NOT meet in the middle. A half assed HQ is worse than a light or a heavy any day of the week. He'll get squashed by the big guys, or he'll be worth a lot of points and not do that much damage.

Njal, PRONOUNCED. NEE -YAL not NIGAL. NEE-YAL of course this is said kind of fast, not like, Knee yall. But Njal. ITS A NORDIC FUCKING J. so its pronounced like a Y. when they say hey, they spell it hej. Not kidding. So anywho, Njal here has one real thing goin for him. NERFING THE SHIT OUT OF ENEMY PSYKERS. Hate Eldar, specifically Eldrad, as much as I do, and you will be crawling on the floor begging for the ability to take Njal in all your armies. On a 3+ all psychich powers within 24 inches of our boy Njal, gets shut down. NO ENEMY PSYCHIC POWERS, EVER. Unless you roll a one or a two for them, but thats not the point. IMAGINE a world with no eldrad with fortune, no doom on your units, and no guide on enemy units? imagine none of that grey knight assault psychich attacks? no more eldrad with fortune, no mind war! NO MORE ELDRAD WITH FORTUNE! NOOOOO MOOOOORE ELDRAD WITH FORTUNE!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOREEEEEE FUCKING ELDRAD WITH FORTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNE!!!!!!!! ... oh pardon me. Thats just kind of a big deal to me. in other news, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO MOOOOOOOOOOORE ELDRAADDDD WITH FORTUUUUUUNE... T_T I'm just sooo happy.

moving along, Logan Grimnar, also a personal favorite, mister Grimnar can turn any squad into even more of a killing machine, with his powers he can bestow unto them, and he frees up an elite slot, since wolf guard become troops under his command, he's solid in close combat, but lack of a 3+ invulnerable hurts him greatly.

Ulrik... uh, don't take him? he's just not that good, and is pretty expensive.

Ragnar Blackmane: good for a few things, at the end of the day he's a good fighter and adds a unique flavor, I would take him if I liked him, personally I'm a Grimnar man.

Wolf Priest: my second favorite choice, right behind Grimnar himself, is the wolf priest, 4+ invulnerable, cheap, and gives out prefered enemy to the desperate blood claws so in need of better to hit rolls. The Wolf priest is a godsend for only 100 points. Quick sidenote, WHY WOULD YOU EVER! EVERRRR!!!! take terminator armor for a wolf priest? for 5 points less you get runic. But Kenny, what about the 5+ invulnerable? he gets a 4+ already numb nuts -.- but the teleporting in? wolves don't do that bullshit. But the relentless? he doesn't need it that much, he uses pistols and Close Combat attacks! uhhhhhh, well I got nothin... Me too dog, me too. Also there are negative sides to terminator armor, like they can never cut down the enemy in a sweeping advance and sich.

RUNE PRIEST: I hate magic. I despise magic. I refuse to use it. But I take a rune priest. Wtf? I never use his powers, I only use him to nullify enemy powers, because I hate magic dammit!

and lastly we have the wolf guard battle leader. Occasionally I take one, when I want to field something that is 30 points, and I have a full list with a rune priest or a wolf priest... yeup. thats what they are there for.

all in all, look for the coming of the wolves, for they are truly awesome, and I have 2500 points of these bad asses fuck yeahhhhh >:D

Using Imperial Guard, at the tournament level

So lets face it, the majority of what I write about, is well, fun stuff. But every now and again, I at least, like to drop the act of fun, and go to a tournament, and beat the shit out of people. And Imperial Guard, are about as competitive as it gets. Now, that's not to say that it's "easy" for us, but it is "easier"... anywho, so how does one win in a tournament setting with Imperial Guard? spam tanks? DUH. With a vehicle count in the double digits, I can easily bring more armor to the table than any of my opponents. But while entertaining as it is effective, its simply not my style. Spam Guardsmen? DUH. With a model collection roaming in the high 200's I find myself able to completely spam the shit out of guardsmen. Orks can suck it when it comes to the numbersgame, because for every 5 orks you can bring, I can bring 6 guardsmen, who when led properly, can easily best you in shooting (big talk, I know). but seriously, the amount of firepower that guardspam brings to the table, is borderline ridiculous. however even guardspam is not my chosen method. Is it vets and valks? nope. Is it some masterplan conspiracy? nope. Is it whacked out of your gourde deathstrike missile launcher and roughrider combo? HELL YEAHHHHH. naw. But seriously, its just a fine mix of it all.

See, too many vehicles calls for cries of imbalance. Too many troops, and you'll just annoy the shit out of your opponent by taking years to move. Too many vets, and you'll be outclassed, AND outnumbered. Too many zany things, and sure you'll kickass, but its all about the objectives. SO, the best thing is to cheese it up in the I can do anything department.

Of course that's not to say you can't still have flavor. See, I'm a world war one man. So lots of infantry, the occasional tank, and a decent ammount of barrage artillery. This works surprisingly well, especially for imperial guard. And I keep it balanced, by giving my guardsmen enough heavy weapons teams to keep it real in the anti tank department, while allowing my guardsmen to run up and well, die for the God Emperor.

Ork 1000 point Tourney list

25 boyz

nob

power klaw

25 boyz

nob

power klaw

ghazkull thrakka

trukk

wrekkin ball

reinforced ram

stikkbomb chukka

3 nob warbikers

power klaw

big choppa

8 nobz

annnnnnnd that's it!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK so how does this list work?

The workhorse, as it should be, is the boyz.

Ghazkull ultimately just helps them along with his super waaagh, and is also there to kill vehicles, and punk heroes.

nobz with ghazkull in the trukk are there to ram up, get in the thick ASAP and look good doin it. Also to soak up fire before the boyz can get stuck in. The trukk, can be surprisingly durable, or surprisingly fragile. As an Ork player, I love the gamble.

WARBIKERS here's an important thing to remember. Warbikers are probably the single best anti tank unit orks get. moves super far, ton of attacks, high strength and AP 1. and they hit a lot harder than they look, with three of em, that's six wounds, and all at toughness 5 with a 4+ invulnerable. Also, notice the weapon loadouts, one big choppa, one power klaw, thats it. The extra guy is just there to die. And the big choppa is there incase we fight a ton of infantry, but more just to not have a powerklaw's investment, but be kinda good.

LASTLY overall strategy. In a 1000 point tourney, bringing over 70 orks to the table is an awesome number. Not only that, but they're all pretty tough. Unlike most ork players, I take cover, allowing me a far larger force when the waaagh comes, not to mention causing arguments about cover saves, all I do is follow the rules. lol.

shoota boyz, and why they don't suck

so if you know anything about orks, its that, the ork boy is the best thing to happen to orks, well, ever. He's allllll you got in the troops department, besides gretchin, but just lol @ how horrible that would be, and coming from me, yeah, that's bad. but there is one unit I can squeeze some potential out of, and that's the Shoota boy!

internets say he sucks. Why? cuz he's an ork, based around shooting, and they have BS 2! naturally that would suck right? well, I disagree, not that that wouldn't suck, but I don't think that's their purpose.

See, from a normal boy, you get one shot on the charge, and then yeah, out of 30 boyz maybe get two or three kills. With shoota boyz, you sacrifice one close combat attack, for one extra shooting attack. Now if the odds of a shooting attack succeeding are far worse than of a close combat attack, then why make that trade? well, typically, you don't want to.

But wait, you said they were good! they are, but not whole army good. What I'm proposing is a unit of them, not some massive shift in ork society.

ohhhh its all so clear now, thank's for clearing that up man.

no problem. so anywho, the shooting attacks help overcome two things. ONE: ork initiative, in case you haven't noticed, is 2. So even with furious charge, you're going to match at best. initiative doesn't matter in shooting, and if you peel enough off beforehand, then you can get to what shoota boyz really do best, which is, punch stuff. 3 attacks each is still awesome. How many times has your ork horde had like 60 attacks against a 10 man unit... you only needed 40 to ensure you would wipe them out. I've had ork assaults that had over 200 attacks in one melee, it was awesome, but it was overkill for sure. With the shoota boy, you still get enough attacks, you just also get a gun.

Two: (yeah that's right, I bet you forgot I was listing things didn't you!... I did...>.>) anywho TWO: you get a gun. Now what does that mean for orks? you can kill stuff, and you don't have to spend three turns running up the board... WOAH. Mind. Blowing. So lets run down some MATH HAMMMMMERRRRRRRRR. Ork shoota boy, versus, Tau Fire warrior. Shoota boy has a 33% chance of hitting. Thats right, one in three of his shots will hit. But when you fire two shots at maximum range... :o ! wait, that means... he HITS SOMETHING?! yeup. Statistically, your ork, WILL hit something. So one shot hits. That shot has a 66% chance of wounding, and since the tau's armor is 4+, that makes for a 33% chance of success, meaning, for every 3 ork shoota boys, a firewarrior should go down. Now the tau's turn. 50% chance to hit, 66% chance to wound. Now let me blow your mind again, with something ork shoota boyz can do. they can do something, incredibly un orky, take. Cover. So 50% of all wounds, never have to happen. just remember all those times, your opponent lolled in your face when you didn't get any saves, and just removed bucket loads of orks. That doesn't have to happen with shoota boyz. on another note, they can go to ground, increasing your odds to 66% chance of salvation.

NOW. Let us discuss how to field shoota boyz. First off, I just wanna say, the big shoota sucks. One more shot, a lot more range, but TEN more points. If it was 5 points, I'd be allllllll over that, but 10?! no sir. how many boyz? I say, no more than 15 shoota boyz to a unit. However, 10 is also feasible. Now this is a free kill point if you have 10 orks in the unit and it sees heavy fighting, so fight with your noggin good sir, and you shall come out ok. Now turn one, move up, maybe shoot, probably run. Turn two, walk up, fire for sure. Turn three, walk up, fire for sure, assault. consolidate backwards. Turn four, walk backwards, keep firing. Turn five, walk backwards, run towards nearest objective on your own side of the table.

Wait, you can hold the objective on your own side of the table?! mmmmmhrmmmm. No more draws because you bashed in the face of your opponent, but he held on by the skin of his teeth at home, and you just had nothing in your own base.

now in closing, I must stress, DO NOT. DOOOOOOOOOOOOO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT run an army of these guys, fuck don't even field two units of them. One nice and thin unit, taking cover when possible, always moving 6 inches when possible, and yeah! so get out there, give em a "shot" get it... shot? ho ho hooooo

How to Counter The Ork

See. IG are a horde army, pretty much, the premier horde army for ranged combat. Orks are the premier horde army for close combat. And man to man (or man to ork I guess) statistically, the ork will come out on top. See, lets say the imperial guardsmen shoots his lasgun, once at 24 inches, odds are below 10%, remember, even the ork gets an armor save against a lasgun. Now the ork gets a little closer, we'll say he fails the waagh run, give the IG benefit of the doubt here. So the guardsmen even gets frfsrf ontop of the rapid fire. For a total of 3 shots, this is at best remember. each shot, having, less than a 10% chance of success, for a total, of at best, less than 30% chance. Now the ork on the other hand, gets a 30% chance of success to wound the guardsmen... 4 times. so. how do we counter this? more men? not possible. More dakka? not reliable. Straken? now there's a good idear.

See. We're gunna get charged. That's the long and short of it. But what they ain't expectin, is commissars, priest's, standards, straken, and a good ol' fashioned thing called human resolve. With a priest, a commissar, and straken nearby, a lone guardsmen's chance of success in combat, moves from again, less than 10 % (thats for either ranged, or cc) to a whomping 33% chance, and that's with 2 attacks each, ontop of the chances before, and with plenty of inspiration for staying in the fight. The answer my imperial guard friends, isn't to run from your foe, or to bring more weapons than him, its to beat him into the ground the old fashioned way, the REAL old fashioned way... of course bringing more guns on top of this doesn't hurt a whole lot either... just sayin.

Spelunkinatornation part two

Pvt Stanley (the manly) swept his bolter to the left, shining his flashlight around in the dark interior of the space hulk. It was cold. and the only visible light now was coming from the end of the flashlights they all carried. Sergeant Wallace looked the whole room over, made sure everyone was checking their corners.

"alright lads, lets get moving. Stan, you're on point!" With that the squad made their way to a nearby corridor and suddenly the cavernous hangar, gave way to the immensely crammed hallways. In full gear, they had to move single file. Lance Corporal Ohjay was last in line. The sound of his heavy combat boots sounded impossibly loud with every step, but speed was of the essence. They'd all heard the stories. Stories of genestealers, or orks, or things even worse, from beyond the grasp of reality itself. The only way they were going to survive, was if they packed enough firepower. And considering firepower was Ohjay's specialty as the demolitions expert, he hoped that at least he would survive.

suddenly a loud hiss burst from a nearby chamber. The team froze as a flicker of light came from behind. Ohjay swung his shotgun left towards the light, while Stan and Wallace moved up to investigate the hiss. Ohjay raised his hand to block the light, his eyes so used to the dark now. once his eyes adjusted he finally realized what it was. "Corporal Nicholas! get over here!" he shouted.

Wallace and Stan both pressed themselves as hard against the walls of the ship as humanly possible. They were about to round the corner where they heard the loud hiss. Stan crouched down, and Wallace gave him the tap confirming he too was ready, and together they rounded the corner. There was nothing. In the distance they heard Ohjay yell something, so they turned back to see what the matter was, when a nearby pipe let forth a belch of steam, making them both jump a foot. It was the old damaged pipe all along. Sergeant Wallace and Private Stanley both arrived to Ohjay and Nicholas bent over a computer screen that was somehow still powered. Nicholas inserted his mechanicus data chip, and downloaded what he could from the files.
"We should be able to repower the whole ship, at least the vessel we're currently in. all we have to do is make our way to engineering. Once there we can control the life support systems, maybe even get some lights turned on." explained Nicholas.
"but first we gotta scrap those civies.' Wallace reminded them. 'So lets get the lead out and get it done."

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so basically this is taking a lot longer to put it into this format than I thought.... anywho I gotta go work. :(

Why We Fall Out Of The Hobby

ok, so you may have noticed, that the amount of content has severely dropped. I blame loss of interest. But not in the blog, but simply the game. I poured my heart and soul into warhammer for over 3 years. It was my favorite thing ever. It just for whatever reason has run its course as a hobby for me. I simply ran out of time for it, and money for it.

NOW, FRET NOT!

for I'm not giving up the hobby, but I just cannot enjoy the hobby like I used to. I've really fallen more into D&D type games, and not even them anymore, just roleplaying. bread and butter combat mechanics, combined with ridiculous ideas and good and merry times. Spelunkinatornation being a prime example. I apologize for the lack of willpower on my part to stay with the hobby, but! Don't let me go to waste, I'm still a source of information and knowledge, and will continue to apply my ideas both on my blog, and to those in need.

Overall nothing is really changing, but I figured it needed to be said, that, well... 40k just isn't the hobby it used to be for me.

Spelunkinatornation part one

alright, so me and my buds all love D&D and just playing with our imaginations. But not everyone wants to put the time into learning how to play either D&D or Warhammer 40k. So. We kinda made it a party game. We'll have about 12 or so people, most just casual players. So I'll be "Dungeon Master" if you don't play Dungeons & Dragons, then Dungeon Master, or DM, is basically the guy making all the rules. Why isn't there just a core set of concrete rules? well, sometimes you just need more rules than provided, for example, if you roll a one to swing from a tentacle into the eye socket of a kraken (this happened) the DM gets to decide whether or not you would fall off into the water, like would normally happen if a one is rolled, but instead you fall into it's mouth, which is exactly what I did... and that character only survived because someone sliced the testicles of the beast causing it to roar in pain. anywho. so, we use D6's, instead of D20's, because, frankly, we don't have that many D20's, and who cares, it's still statistically sound. So here's what happened in our last D&D adventure in the 40k realm... but to make it awesomer, I'm gunna put it in book format, then follow it up with a brief paragraph explaining what really happened. Take all this with a grain of salt, and a good dash of humor.

The valkyrie hurtled through space, its engines struggling to propel it to it's limits. Deep within the red glow of the interior, sat insertion team one. Lead by the somewhat nontraditional, sergeant wally wallace. Corporal Nickonator Player Hater, the vox operator and all around techie. Lance Corporal OJ The Jaw, demolitions expert. And Private Stanley The Manly.

"Receiving message from the Iron Tide Patching you through." said the Pilot.
"This Is Colonel Barret, Sergeant Wallace, there's been a change of plans. A civilian vessel is moving in on the Space Hulk. Those poor bastards have no idea the trouble they'll cause. Your new objective is to take those grubby hand ass wipes, and remove them from my damn Area of Operations. then proceed with your previous objective to rendezvous with team two deeper into the space hulk. understood?"
"Yes Sir."
"Good, now make it happen."

as soon as the transmission ended, the pilot crackled over the speakers "Sergeant, ETA 3 minutes."

The men all checked their equipment one last time, and sat impatiently, no one looking forward to the horrors that awaited them within the space hulk....

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alright so I've gotta go on a road trip now... but part two will have some action... I promise.

6th ed, reaction and reaction to reactions.

Ok, so first ima give my reaction, then react to the reactions of others, because I waited and read a tonne of other posts first just to a be a tad different. So I know you've certainly read the rules somewhere, you're not getting this from me, so I won't make you read them again so lets dive in.

We'll start with the only thing that's breaking my heart about the new edition. Lower coversaves. it seems that my guardsmen will be weaker than ever, being easier to shoot at, being easier to get blasted even if they're in cover, and this just makes me sad in the pants. But that's about it for negatives.

I've always thought that vehicles should be easier to hit, I mean, there is a big difference between hitting a guardsmen with a bolter thats 23 inches away, from hitting a landraider that is literally right under your nose.

That all said, I think there should be a few additions to the shooting rules, while we're bringing it up. For example, if the unit numbers over 12 then it should be a little easier to hit, maybe a +1 up the new BS chart. Or if a unit is within 8 inches, then a +1 and of course, these stack, because you would truly have to be daft to miss a thousand gaunts surrounding you, and not go ten for ten.

Stealth rule has been vastly expanded with the ability to "vanish" I believe this could be really, really, really cool. I've always complained about snipers sucking, but it looks like they're finally having a comeback in 6th edition! My 8 ratlings are suddenly very happy.

Next up, if you're a long time reader, you know my opine on the new IG codex, since it took out doctrines. BUT NOW! doctrines for everybody!!! I know I know, kenny, where does it say doctrines? It doesn't, but it uses a word that if there was a warhammer specific thesaurus, it would be under it, STRATAGEMS!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so why am I wigging out about stratagems? because stratagems means customization, and like all gamers, I LOVE THE SHIT out of some customization. To the point where I will read the stratagems over and over and over, and use them more than I'll use different units.

Now that all said, I do and don't care for bidding. because, I don't mind going second, I'll just bid really low, and get some extra strats. But then again, what about my opponent, if he plays against me all the time, then he'll know that, and bid low as well. I just don't like how complicated that all gets. So here's my thought for house rules, DON'T BID. Roll off anyway. Otherwise it'll get overly complicated, how do we reveal our bids anyway? write them down? thats gay, I don't want to have paper with me just to play warhammer. So I dunno. mixed emotions on the bidding.

Deepstrike rules, make so much sense its not even funny. Why would a unit careen off course when its not in danger? now who's to say there isn't any anti-air or something? then who's to say we didn't just burrow out of the FUCKING GROUND. So yeah.

at the same time, whilst I am very pleased with the rules, haters gunna hate. and several people I know have reacted very negatively, on the otherhand, some people have reacted very favorably. I think this hurts IG a whole lot, as more than ever a small elite force of heroic characters is favored, but I think that, that, is how war should be. Just ask Tzun Tsu, a small band of hardcore warriors will simply always outdo a large band of terrible ones. If not on the field of battle, off of it. anywho, we'll get to that in a minute. For now, I for one am disappointed at the haters. Since when have the rules been easy enough for noobs to comprehend anyway? it may feel super simple to us, but to someone getting into the hobby, the learning curve is barely made any steeper. Stratagems are making it more like Apoc... and? whats the complaint? its not like you have to use more models... its just more and better rules, so its all the fun and customization of your own force, and none of the taking 6 hours to play. Speaking of which, game length is becoming something a lot of people are worried about. I foresee it taking only a few minutes longer, I honestly don't see how it adds that much to game time. Now as far as even if it does take a while longer, who cares? when I play, I play all day anyway, so to me, its absolutely not a big deal.

lastly, and perhaps most importantly for guard units everywhere, experience. Now they haven't said whether or not this is army wide, hero wide, survivor wide, or just a once in a blue moon thing. But Who the fuck doesn't like to see a couple hardcore dudes doin hardcore stuff like blowing off heads with shotguns and turning around and punching a space marine in the face? I for one am very excited.

The lameness of running a warhammer blog

sometimes I feel as if, my soul is being crushed under the weight, of my model collection. And at the point of weight that I feel, it is least, felt, in the wallet, as it is emptied, rather quickly, by the hobby that I so love. Sometimes its a woman playing solitaire that inspires the depression of modeling the world, in miniature form. And other times, its sheer boredom and simply running out of material. This is the article I was jokingly (at least I hope so) suggested to write.

Something about the fact of writing in a fictional universe, for plastic men, that cost ten times the price of army men (ten times? who am I kidding, more like thirty) and for all the same enjoyment. At the same time it creates an elite few, who become the basis of lifetime friends. As we journey through the horrible universe of the forty first millenium, things get darker and darker as both the universe expands into the eleventh level of hell, and Games Workshop expands into the fifty first level of hell. And we as gamers are slaves to their will. As one is indeed enslaved so often by the things they love. Perhaps its the fact that Sleep is overtaking certain people or perhaps its the fact this article is going nowhere. But I will leave you all with the final thought of Kurgan, from highlander. ITs better to burnout, than to fade away! *ends article with gay as fuck and totally out of character spin*

Kill Team List: secret weapon... most unique killteam list ever

...wait for it... waiiiiit forrrr itttttt.... rough riders. With Mogul Kamir. see, give two of the rough riders plasmaguns, and make sure there are ten of these guys, and you're almoooost at 200, so maybe take a unit of ratlings as filler. Anywho, talk about packin a punch on the cheap.

for ten points, that's right, ten points a man, you get, cavalry (charge 12 inches), laspistols, and most importantly, a hunting lance. Now if you don't know, a hunting lance, is str 5, initiative 5, power weapon. SO, on the turn that the 7 nonplasmagunning/nonmogul kamir, riders charge in, they will get 7 laspistol shots, we'll say against... space marines, so that's a chance of 3 hits, and a whomping one wound, a whomping nothing, from the armorsave... :( but! heres the cool part, then they get the charge, with a 12 inch charge, they should always be the chargers, so yeah. so anywho, so 3 attacks on the charge each, for a whomping 21 attacks, at str 5... initiative 5... so thats 7 hits, 6 wounds and nooooo saves! and all for 6 points cheaper than a space marine... that's right. and the plasmagunners can just outrun anyone around him, and just keep poppin shots.

Mogul Kamir, was supposed to be nerfed, by the dreaded Rage Special Rule... but in kill team, no one is affected but Mogul the Mongol. So he's gunna end up with his crazy bitchass just charging the crap outta somebody. So try to maneuver him against the biggest guy.

anywho, if you wanted to make this list even harder, then throw out mogul kamir, and yeah. But this is an awesomely effective list.

Kill Team List: Gray's Grenadiers 2.0

some of you may remember the previous grays grenadiers, well, unfortunately thats a unit of the past, and has been for quite some time now. But tonight, they get a reboot. And all in the name of remodelling straken. but enough about that whole stuff, this is about the list itself.

Veteran squad: 70
powerfist 15
meltagun 10
sniper rifle 5
heavy bolter 10
cameleoline 30
carapace armor 30
demolitions 30
200 points

special rules:
sergeant: Preferred Enemy
Sniper: infiltrate
Heavy Bolter: feel no pain

Allright, so explaining the list in depth, sergeant is all about CC, with his shotgun, and his buddies with shotguns, a meltagun and a demo charge, there isn't a whole lot they're afraid of. That said, half the unit, will hold back and shoot with their lasguns, heavy bolter, and sniper rifle.

Now right off the bat, the big deal is the three doctrines. THREE doctrines? thats half my points! well, I just wanted a single squad. Whats more badass than that? and what's more trying to a general than that? to command forces against an entirely superior force?

Well here are my tactics.

The enemy will deploy in their quadrant, as per standard rules, probably with some space marines, one having feel no pain, another with furious charge, and another with fleet or something. So my sniper's whole job, is to divert as many men as possible to his location. Hopefully nabbing a rend along the way.

My heavy bolter's probably going to do the heavy lifting of the early game. I gave the heavy bolter feel no pain, because with a 3 up cover save, 2 wounds and feel no pain, that's pretty effin awesheome. The heavy bolter and friends will more than likely get a single kill, but that's about it.

The real winners come from the hard chargin mofo's with the sergeant. The democharge is str 8 AP 2, so goodbye terminators, good bye space marines, or whatever else you got. Next up meltagun will lay down the law against anyone with feel no pain. Then lastly shotguns blazing, my sergeant and his buddies will engage the remaining enemies. The guardsmen with just shotguns are kind of running interference against the biggest baddie, while my sergeant fights the remaining men. Eventually, the shotgunners will die, but then the meltagunner can pop the remaining specialist hopefully. The sergeant can reliably defeat two space marines, as long as he gets the charge.

well there you have it, a lone squad of men, over priced, over awesome, and how to use em.

Taskmaster part deuce

Alright, so this week me and mah buds spent a little coin, gettin the manager to really understand how much we love this hobby. The discount we get for doin all the work we do, really payed off. So we each got massive orders. Then we hit up a game, and well, had a great time. Had another guy show up, he brought his orks. We did a three way battle, and it ended up that we each got the best possible outcomes for our armies. The orks all died, the black templar purged the bejesus out of both my guard and the orks, and my imperial guardsmen, survived, mostly by winning. So there we have it.

Taskmaster!

ok, so, my local hobby shop, leaves a lot to be desired. No warhammer pieces. No players. Nothing but RC cars for grandpa's to halfheartedly give to their grandsons, who might play with them once. Ok so maybe not that bad. But no warhammer at least. SO. My friend and I have taken it upon ourselves to undo this injustice.

Step one! get our game onnnnn!
Today, we marched in with our armies, and some terrain. And played a game! that's right, we just did that! so despite a few crotchety old ladies giving us a hard time, I mean surprisingly rude really.

Well the game was fun, my friend just converted his black templar to mech and I pretty much decimated it, they got traffic jammed on one side of the board, buying the rest of my army time to move up and defend the line.

Some people stopped here and there, only two guys seemed really to be into it. The store manager loooooved us tho. I mean, loooooooooooved us. The guy's tryin to get us in there once a week. Which works for me. and we get discounts! which is always, ALWAYS a good thing.

Now we have to wait and watch our nest egg grow

small battles

why is it that small battles are better than big battles? well, you can fit in more battles for starter, which is always good right? but also it provides something else. It makes every unit count more. It makes the troop choices matter, and it makes the flavor of your army even more concentrated. People tend to shy away from small battles in the simple minded mentality that bigger is always better! no. No it's not. Most of the time, sure. But here, smalllllllerrrrr is the way to go. Not only this, but it makes the gametypes matter more as well. See, in a larger game, the gametype takes a backseat. And everyone kind of focuses on destroying the crap out of eachother. More of a annihilation no matter what mentality. Sure objectives kind of matter, but in a smaller game, more special rules can be slapped down. For instance, ANY mission from the battlemission's book, and I'm dissapointed with the ammount of flavor in those missions, so I combine at least two of them, sometimes as much as four, to make one battle. and smaller battles make it matter more. they really do.

in the end, how many points we talkin? well, it depends on what you're goin for. Kill team for me, is a blast. Warhammer in half an hour, always enticing. But what matters here is what you want. I would base it on how much time you have, or if you just wanna try a new unit, then whatever it takes to fit it in.

So there we have it, keep small, keep it complex.

simple units

so I was playing the other day, with some vendettas, and I was just in awe of how little skill it took to use. It was just, zip around the board, and blow up whatever I hit. 3 twinlinked lascannons make for a very, very, potent shooting phase. for only 150 (I run mine with bolter sponsons, because door gunners are sooooo cool) I get a powerhouse. Now not that I haven't used them before, or that I haven't heard the hype, it was just particularly effective against my friends black templar army. Then that got me thinking of other units that just require hardly any skill. Now, some of the pessimists out there will sneer and say, you play imperial guard, everythings a simple unit >:I while I disagree, I will save that for another article.

So other simple units:
vindicator
leman russ
devastator squad
any apocalypse unit
and ork boyz or similar horde rush armies.

These all share one common factor: extremes. There's no middle ground. And that focus of what to do, makes them so effective. With a tac squad people don't know if they are gunna hold objectives, or assault, or anything in between. So they lose clarity, while a unit like a vindicator is straight up. Ork boyz are probably the least flexible of all of these. But that also makes them one of the best. Get enough boyz, you WILL win. I've played games with orks, that I literally couldn't kill all of them even though I had two great turns of shooting before they broke my lines, and even though I had straken, priests, commissars, and every other trick in the book to make my men good in close combat, nothing worked, and we lost. There were just too many boyz.

Now these simple units are often ridiculed, for example thunderwolf cavalry, nob bikers, both are infamous and truly hated. As well as the vendetta and valkyrie. Every single army has that one simple unit, that is truly hated. Even tau... well... maybe not. Anywho, the thing with simple units is, when you're getting your ass kicked by them, just remember, you're smarter than them... weak punchline, but one I will stand by none the less.

Imperial Guard Platoons

So, one of the things that often confuses people, is the massively complex unit, known as an Imperial Guard Platoon. Each platoon is an army within an army. There is one HQ that's mandatory, the Lieutenant or "platoon commander" as well as two troops, in the form of guardsmen squads. You can take more troops. You can add some heavy support in the form of heavy weapons squads. Or you can add some special weapons with special weapons teams. Oh and conscripts, while mostly avoided, are also found here. Now the key thing here. This is all ONE troops choice from the force organization chart.... ONE TROOP CHOICE can be over 100 men. Easily. So. that said. We have the potential to field the largest armies, and put down the most hurtin in one turn. No other army can say that 100 plus infantry is a single troops choice. Now on the other hand, the platoon isn't too awful effective, but here are some tips.

Take a commissar, and if you do, put him in a combined squad, so his effects travel further.

I like to take 3 squads per platoon. And I'll combine two of the squads, and give them the said commissar from above.

I find equipping a platoon with all the same kit works best. To have a platoon of all rockets and plasma guns, or all heavy bolters and grenade launchers. My lieutenants retinue will follow this as well, with the addition of a standard bearer. Or if you don't like standards, a vox caster or another special weapon will do.

Typically I don't give my lieutenants much special kit. A bolt pistol, or a plasmapistol is enough. any more than that, you're just not gunna get your points worth.

Remember, the point of a platoon, is to hold objectives, and to put it gently, die. If they aint dyin, then they aren't doin their job. Its a grunt's life.

Cover is, as always with imperial guard, if not even more so here, vital to success. Nothin in the entire game is more necessary. It takes your measly 5+ armor save (nonexistent against bolters, or most weapons for that matter) to a whomping 4+ cover save. So what's the big deal? it increases you chance of surviving against bolters, from a 44% casualty rate, to a 22% casualty rate. And that makes your guardsmen worth their weight in gold. and between the incoming order, or just plain ol' goin to ground, you can increase that how you wish.

Typically, I try not to equip my squads with lascannons. On the basis of the fact that they will never have anything to shoot at. That and one lascannon will more than likely fail to blow up a vehicle anyway. So heavy weapons squads are pretty much the way to go. They all have the same range, and are all just as good as the other guys in the heavy weapon squad. so 3 lascannons, 3 autocannons, 3 mortars, 3 heavy bolters, that's how ya do it.

Lastly, remember that platoons compliment themselves rather nicely. Between the numbers advantage, and the similarity in function, they will most likely get the job done better together than each unit within acting on its own.